The purpose of this report is to evaluate the proposal for Brolly Can which is written for an academic purpose. Brolly Can is a product that dries wet umbrellas without causing a wet mess.
The proposal identified the problems arising from the conventional way of handling a wet umbrella when entering indoor. The proposed solution, Brolly Can, is able to solve the identified problems by being a reusable system that will absorb the rain ...view middle of the document...
Secondly, the use of the English language must be proficient.
The flow of information is not organised as there is no paragraphing. The benefits of using Brolly Can is mentioned before introducing the product in the second half of the passage. There was also no proper explaination about the process behind how the product solves the problem identified. The ending of the proposal is abrupt without going through how can the proposal be implemented and what are the cost involved.
The proposal also contains some grammer issues. The first word of the proposal should start with “The fundamental...”. In line 6-9 and 13-16, the sentences are too long. In line 3 to 4, there is redundant repitition of wet floors and cleaning problems, “from … problems” should be omitted. In the proposal there is a mixed up between the use of “product” and “system”, which Brolly Can should be a product. In line 8, “rendering” is misspelled.
In conclusion, the proposal can be improved with proper paragraphing. The flow of information also needs more fine tuning and the way how Brolly Can can be used needs to be included as well. The use of English can be improved.