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Self Defeating Behaviour Essay

2469 words - 10 pages

Word Count:-2,423
In this essay I will try and demonstrate my knowledge and understanding of the title, by describing and evaluating two approaches of the treatment of self-defeating behaviour.
Self-defeating behaviour is a behaviour used to cope with a traumatic situation. It is then repeatedly used but often has a damaging effect on the person. This can be identified as being deliberate or intentional behaviour that has a clear, definite or probably negative effect.
People are more likely to have a self-defeating or ...view middle of the document...

Unbalanced attitudes such as defensiveness, isolation, avoidance, lack of confidence, escapism and denial. Sexual dysfunctions, such as not able to have sexual relationships with anyone due to the psychological effects. Also procrastination, which is avoidance at its best. Depression, and compulsive/ritualistic behaviour in excessive form.
We all have some sort of self-defeating behaviour in one form or another. For example: - Myself. I procrastinate. I keep putting things off and find other things to do. I am on the defence all the time, I have no self-confidence and always have self-doubt. I believe this has developed over a long period of time, going way back to my childhood. Being the youngest of five, I was always bullied by my sister who is three and half years older than me. The bullying went on when I started school. If it wasn’t my sister it would be other children. I used to put it down to being a poor child because my parents couldn’t afford a lot. My dad always drank what little money we had. He was a known drunk, and so I was bullied for that too. Mum made sure she had her cigarettes.
I was also a victim of one particular teacher who had a dislike for me. Why? Who knows!! She knocked my confidence and made me doubt my own abilities by putting a red line through my work without even looking at it or giving me any explanation for why she did it or even what was wrong with my work. She always made me stand up in front of the class and made me read from a book, knowing that I wasn’t very good at reading. So, to overcome my lack of confidence I became defensive and hostile, and I put off doing anything that I thought I might be criticised for.
I’m not one to take criticism well even if it is constructive criticism and I know is will help me in the long term. All I see is someone on the attack. So, I bring my defensives up to shut out those attacking me. I’ll put off doing things because in my mind, I dread doing it because I think I will be put down for my efforts and my work will be pulled apart. All these feelings of dread are reinforced every month when I hand my essay in. I have transferred the feeling that I have regarding that horrible teacher onto my counselling teacher. Basically because of that teacher in my childhood I had given up on studying. But later in life I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I then realised that I wasn’t thick or stupid. I realised that I am capable of studying, but it doesn’t stop the feelings of self-doubt and the lack of confidence. I often use humour to my daily life to overcome this lack of confidence. Consciously, I know that I’m doing this, but unconsciously, my mind is keeping me safe by making me defensive and by hiding behind my humour. These issues are so deep rooted that they have become part of my everyday life so I don’t even know that I am doing it.
How we minimise the effects of self-defeating behaviour so that they can continue.
We all justify why we do things. Almost by habit,...

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